An inner core of silence
Wednesday, June 10, 2020 at 8:18AM 
And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone. (Matthew 14:23)
Fr. Kevin, Rector of St. Clements, Seattle, sends out a form of the Daily Office each morning. Each includes a reflection. Here’s today’s.[i]
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I can only speak for myself, but I feel bombarded and weary - which are not to be confused with depressed or anxious. These days, everything is new though it piggybacks on yesterday. The change is constant, not a bad thing, but constant. Sometimes, my head feels like a boomerang. BOING!
These are times when I reluctantly feel called to silence, solitude, quiet: turn off the radio, the TV, the computer, even the phone, put in my earplugs and go about my business. I light a candle at my home shrine reminding me to be intentional in acknowledging the Presence. Acknowledging doesn't mean talking. It means acknowledgment, affirming what is without words. Then reluctance goes away.
Even Jesus felt overwhelmed at times by what was swirling around him and went off to pray, to acknowledge, to be in the silence and absorb the Presence of which he was even a part. The silence seems to have cleared his mind, been a source of refreshment resulting in peace.
I frequently talk about what we Christians are called to "do," vital things to which God calls us to transform our world. But more importantly, we are called "to be," the place from which our action proceeds. For me - and mind you, I'm only speaking of myself - the silence gives me a place before the Presence to reconnect with my own sense of self, my own integrity and authenticity which are rooted in God. Once reconnected, I can return to the world of doing with a better sense of what I am doing.
So, now, I will shut up, light the candle, acknowledge the Presence, bask in the solitude and reconnect.
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The Order of the Ascension (OA) has taken on a small, but important, project to offer people a pathway into Fr. Kevin’s “silence, solitude, quiet.” And we recognize the reluctance he notes. It can be difficult to begin.
We believe that some will be helped by associating themselves with one of the church’s religious orders. Living in communion with one of these “Communities of love, prayer and service” has been a great help for many.
In 1988, after five years of communal formation, we gathered in the chapel at General Seminary to take the Promise, “To seek the presence of Jesus Christ in the people, things and circumstances of life through stability, obedience and conversion of life.” The week prior was spend with Fr. Ken Leech on retreat. In those days all the Professed Members were priests. He said this to us,
Any authentic priesthood must derive from an inner core of silence, a life hid with Christ in God ...Only those who are at home with silence and darkness will be able to survive in, and minister to, the perplexity and confusion of the modern world. Let us seek that dark silence out of which an authentic ministry and a renewed theology can grow and flourish.
Of course, the message applies to all the baptized. And yet, it remains true that priests, and the Professed of the church’s religious orders, have a special duty to find a home in silence and solitude.
Fr. Allchin wrote a short booklet some years ago on the religious life in the Anglican tradition. He wrote that theirs was, “a life which overflowed into activity, not an activity supported by a life.”[ii] It was from the life of love and prayer in these communities that service flowed into the world and the church. They worked with the poor and desperate, those most impacted by plagues and hunger, with orphans and prostitutes. They partnered with the priests of the slum parishes. Their love and prayer overflowed into activity. And that life of sacrifice and compassion kindled a flame in much of the church.
Might becoming an associate of a religious order assist you in silence and solitude?
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[i] With permission. The Rev’d Kevin Corbin Smith
[ii] A. M. Allchin, “The Theology of the Religious Life: An Anglican Approach”, S.L.G. Press, 1971
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