Solitude, as a spiritual practice, is being alone with God. It requires setting aside distractions. It may be just a few minutes in the morning or several days in a monastic house on retreat. Solitude allows us to see more clearly. In solitude we may see things as they are in themselves and also with the eyes of God.
A challenge in solitude is that among the things we, both see as they are and with the eyes of God, is ourself. It opens up a process of self-discovery which can both enliven and frighten us.
Prayer must involve the unifying of the personality, the integration of mind and heart into one center…Without self-discovery there can be no further progress. ‘In order to find God whom we can only find in and through the depths of our own soul, we must first find ourselves.’ Without self-knowledge our love remains superficial. -Ken Leech, Soul Friend
In solitude we also come to know God—Mercy and Compassion, Awe and Mystery—all beyond our thinking, imagining, and planning. Knowing God will change us.
It is the mystical which gives warmth and humanity and tolerance, and without which religions can grow hard, inflexible, and cruel. It is the mystical element which integrates theology, action, and prayer. -Ken Leech, “The Sky Is Red: Discerning the Signs of the Times”
Just begin
For most of us the way to begin—is to begin. No grand plans. No weeks of reading and research—"Oh my, what is the best way to be in solitude?”
Just begin. Take a few minutes now. Step away from the computer. Leave the phone on a table. Go out onto your balcony or porch. Take a short walk around the block. Say a brief prayer. Maybe a paraphrase of something from scripture—I like “Come away to a place by yourself and rest a while.” (from Mark 6:31-32)
It doesn’t work to say, “I’ll do this after all my work is done, after we plan our vacation, after I clean the kitchen.” The many demands of life are always upon us. It’s what Jesus and the disciples faced—“[they]didn’t even have time to eat.” Taking on a spiritual discipline is done by taking it on. Adding it to all the other things that press upon us. Calling on the Spirit to make us steadfast, give us the gift of perseverance.
Stephen Covey said, “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” So, put solitude on your schedule. If only 5 minutes each day. The same time each day. Take your coffee out onto the balcony and be still and silent—listen.
Parish development
The parish can nurture solitude. It can also nurture noise and distraction. It's a choice.
If we’re to nurture solitude, we need to do enough that a climate is created. So, think five years not five months. Maybe practices like these:
- In the Eucharist and the Office – brief periods of silence, after readings, at the Breaking of the Bread.
- Shape the period before each Sunday Eucharist so it is not busy and rushed but calm and centering.
- Schedule quiet days during Advent and Lent; a weekend retreat away each year.
- Offering modules in the Adult Foundations Course on solitude, spiritual reading, reflection and contemplation.
And because you know about how quiet days and retreats nurture and build the apostolic core, set aside your “numbers anxiety” and focus on the spiritual dynamics of the parish church. Accept that there being relatively few participants is exactly as it should be. These are opportunities to feed the Apostolic and progressing, to allow those of experimenting faith to experience something new, and to slowly nurture a climate of calmness and reflection.
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