I just got off a Zoom meeting with novices in the Order of the Ascension. All four are rectors. Michelle Heyne (Presiding Sister) and I (formation director) were looking at how to do the novitiate in these times.
When I left the meeting the newsletter from Atonement, Chicago arrived. Mother Erika’s reflection captured what I was experiencing. It seemed to capture what all those in that Zoom meeting were experiencing.
Erika gave permission to share it with you.
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Last week at our regular diocesan meeting, a member of our diocesan staff shared this poem by the remarkable American novelist and poet Wendell Berry:
It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.
I don’t usually like to think of myself as impeded. I don’t like to think of myself as not knowing what to do, or not knowing which way to go. I certainly don’t like to think of myself as baffled. But I’m sure I’m not alone in confessing that these past several months I have found myself baffled, unknowing, and impeded in multiple ways and on multiple days. I’m sure I’m not alone in this.
But to be fair to myself, I’ve never been a rector in a time of pandemic before. And to be fair to you – you’ve never been a [fill-in-the-blank] in a time of pandemic before. It’s no wonder we’re feeling unsure about where to step and where to invest our energies, unclear about what to let go of and what to cling to.
Could it be that this is our real work? To learn to live as followers of Jesus even though we’re baffled? To follow in his footsteps even when we aren’t sure which way to go? To sing even though we feel impeded? As I ask myself these questions, I feel the presence of every single character in our holy scripture who did not know what was coming, who did not feel prepared, and who sang their faith anyway. Abraham, Sarah, Jacob, Moses, Rahab, Ruth, David, Mary, Peter, James, and John – who amongst this group wouldn’t have nodded their heads at Berry’s wise words? We know how their story ends, and so at times their faith can seem inevitable, like the flow of a wide, eternal river. But they did not know. And they sang anyway.
I pray that this week we will all continue to step forward in our faith, to allow the circumstances that we’re in to shape a new and deeper alleluia, and to let the stream shape a beautiful song.
Yours in Christ,
The Rev’d Erika L. Takacs, Rector
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Turn everything that happens to account
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Postings on Parish Development during the Virus
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Faith to perceive: Remaining inseparable Communities of love, prayer and service